What are you clinging to? Dispause.

What are you clinging to? Dispause.

Are you clinging to the old comfortable parts of yourself?

Recently I found a caterpillar in my garden. She had gotten up on the patio and for whatever reason, breathed her last breath. She reminded me of the caterpillar in Alice and Wonderland, big, fat and probably 2 to 3 inches long. She was actually beautiful in a caterpillar kind of way.

What happened to her life? Why did she stop living right before her transformation? Was she afraid to go into the chrysalis and weave her cocoon so she could emerge with her brightly colored wings and fly?

Reading one of my all time favorite books this morning, When the Heart Waits, by Sue Monk Kidd, she speaks to this stage of some types of caterpillars exisistence, mentioning how they cling to their larval stage, resisting building their cocoon, sometimes as long as a year. In the insect world, the stage is known as a ‘diapause’.

Feeling a bit of clinging to the old myself, not sure what my next step is, I found this analogy interesting. Am I in a ‘diapause’? Am I resisting my wings, even self sabatoging, clipping my wings?

Change is sometimes hard. The more we grow, the more we have to spread our wings, creep to the edge to fly. Even when we’re feeling a desire to, it doesn’t mean it’s easy. We can dream about it, get lost in the feelings of what it might feel like but when pushed to the point of making the change, it’s easy to cling to the old.

What I know for sure is that I don’t want to end up like the caterpillar who died before she grew her wings. It may feel a bit scary to take the next step but if I don’t, I will never fly.

Today, are you stuck in a diapause, afraid or unsure of what is next? Don’t let your dreams die in you. Trust the process and get ready to fly!

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