Do you ever look back and wish things could have been different? Are there things you regret?
Sometimes I am touched so deeply by a quote that I feel it down to the depths of my soul. These words by the mystic poet Hafiz, stirred something within and reminded me how easy it is to stay stuck in regret and live a diminished life.
With each birthday, the clock of Life ticks by. The older we are, the more precious
the time left becomes, wondering if we are living all of the life we were meant to live.
Regret can sneak in, eating away at the moments weighed down by the past that cannot be changed.
Regret could have easily poisoned my life. Ten years ago, a couple of days after my birthday, my husband of many years gave me the gift of telling me he was leaving. With a broken heart, at that moment there was no way I could see the gift. I felt he was being heartless, irresponsible and ruining our family. He broke the promise he made to me before we married that he would never leave.
I wasn’t sure if I’d ever recover. Sad to the core, with regret seeping in, I turned over and over in my mind what I could have done differently in my marriage. Could I have loved him more? Been thinner? Worked less? What was the answer?
What I knew was that I couldn’t keep living backward. It was not a healthy or productive way to create a new, happier life. With years of personal growth under my belt, I knew forgiveness and gratitude were the keys. If I could find the silver lining even in the midst of the storm, I’d find my way out.
Deciding to find the good when my life broke open helped me realize his decision was the catalyst for who I am today, an inspirational coach, writer, and speaker. His choice to leave, as painful as it was, opened the door and allowed me to find myself again leading to a fulfilled, happier life.
Regrets only keep you stuck in the past.
There’s nothing you can do to change what has already happened. If you live backward, there’s no way you can find joy in today.
One never knows when the end of Life will happen. It’s not something any of wants to dwell on but if you, just for a moment, considered that day, are there regrets that you may still have?
Is it that you did not do what you wanted to do or see what you wanted to see in this world? Or could it be that you did not forgive? That you held on to an ancient wound and lived your whole life carrying it with you?
What if you let go of regrets and left the past behind? Would that allow you to ask yourself ‘what is missing’? With regrets gone, what if you could live life to the fullest and shout to the heavens…I love my life!!
The life we live is a choice. It’s up to us to decide every day if we will carry the baggage of anger and regret all our days or see the gifts, no matter how they come. After all, it’s so much more fun when we “kiss the world” and live each day in awe that we are alive.
THREE KEY TIPS TO RELEASING REGRET:
- Stop looking in the rearview mirror. The past is over. Begin to look forward to create a life you would love.
- Forgive. Forgiveness, whether it’s someone else or yourself, is the key to moving forward. The only person that is hurt when we don’t forgive is ourselves. We carry the weight and burden of the heaviness of forgiveness until we release, forgive and let go. Forgiving ourselves frees us to open up for more good.
- Count your blessings. Gratitude is key. Again, you can’t change the past however you can be grateful where you are today. Even in the toughest of situations, blessing what you have, being grateful you made it through, concentrating on the good you have opens the way for more to come.