Have you ever noticed how easy it is to stay in neutral when we want to make a change?
Pushing ourselves into a corner just gets us stuck. When we love ourselves enough to pay attention, we are much more likely to go in the direction of a happier life.
Something begins to gnaw at us. It’s not that anything is wrong but it doesn’t feel ‘just right’ anymore. This could happen in your career, where your boss or team no longer are in alignment with your career goals. It could be in a relationship where the two of you have reached an impasse or a fork in the road, no longer want the same things. Or it could just be in life overall.
At midlife in particular, it’s easy to find ourselves living life from the vision of our twenty-five or thirty-year-old selves. The problem is that version of our life was decided by our younger selves and we’re not that person anymore. We’ve moved into a new season of life.
No matter when or how it happens, that sense of not being really happy begins to fray the edges of your very existence. Days become the same and it’s almost as if a haze, like a blue cloud, is hanging over you.
The good news is that haze just might be a foretelling of something more…
This week, the season of Autumn begins. When the heat of summer begins to no longer be fun, we long for cooler temperatures and know that in time, that will happen. Unlike the seasons, our lives don’t always work in sync with what we desire UNLESS we decide to make a change.
Seasonal changes are a great reminder of how refreshing the right change can be. A cool front blowing in with crisp air never felt so good after days of 100-degree temperatures of late summer.
When your life has gotten too ‘hot’ to handle (or too blue), decide for yourself to do a ‘refresh’ to move in a new direction.
Consider these 5 steps to help you create a new season for you!
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Ask yourself ‘What would I love?” – Before you make any moves, check-in with what’s important to you. Think about what’s brought you satisfaction, even contentment in the past. What could you do to bring that about again?
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Seek to understand your discomfort. – We are so often apt to go ‘global’ on issues making them much worse than they are. If you sit back and ponder what honestly transpired, you may find that instead of making a major change a clarifying conversation, a change in an approach or understanding the other side might be enough change to alleviate any major move.
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Take responsibility – When we look outside ourselves for the reasons why things are happening, blaming others or situations, we could be setting ourselves up to fail. Too many times in life people look for change and end up picking the same scenario until they recognize their part in what is happening. In order for us to change our world, often we have to change ourselves and how we see things.
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Identify the what and why of the change – If you are working a job that no longer makes you happy, there are many things that could be making that so. It could be the people, the environment, or that you no longer like the work you do. Getting in touch with the “why” and the “what” will clarify the “next”.
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Set a new goal and give yourself time – How many times have you decided to make a change and yet it never happened. Could it be that your expectations were so high you didn’t allow yourself time to make it happen?
Deciding for a change is only one part of the decision. Putting it on the calendar can be the most important step. Instead of deciding to do something next month, why not give yourself time.
Do a ‘slow tango’ with your decision. Often when we do, it becomes the perfect ‘move’.
When life is really ‘breaking open’, it could be more than a seasonal thing. You may find you can’t decide on your next move by yourself. That’s when a Coach might just help. Ascertaining the situation from a neutral place, asking the right questions with compassion and a broader understanding of life’s phases, could be just the thing called for to move you in your happiest new direction.
If that’s you, let me help.
Book a complimentary ‘Discovery Session’ with me now!
